Today marks the third day of the World breastfeeding week, it is celebrated from 1-7 august each year globally to encourage and improve the health of babies around the world. Honestly, I couldn’t think of another topic than ‘breastfeeding’ as the first blog for ‘nepali aama’.
Every mother’s breastfeeding journey is unique, filled with different challenges. For some it’s easy, for others it’s a constant battle. Let me confess what my breastfeeding journey was like.
A couple of hours after my c-section, the nurse brought my daughter to me and said,
🍼🍼🍼 ‘Feed your baby’. 🍼🍼🍼
I was nervous, shy and had very little clue on what was going around. I held my baby, and then the judgement on my motherhood skills started right there. I wasn’t holding her correctly in my arms, let alone feeding the baby. I was overwhelmed with emotions, from carrying my baby in my womb for 10 months to holding her for the first time.
Throughout my 🤰 pregnancy, I would read everyday about delivery tips and what to expect. But I never really cared about breastfeeding. I was completely clueless about breastfeeding. It wasn’t something I had thought of at all. Looking back, I really hope I had read more, studied or at least discussed what it was going to be like.
Ok, let’s go back to my hospital bed, holding my baby 👼🏻 and trying to stuff my nipple in her tiny mouth. My boob to her face was largely out of proportion and in all of this. Someone enters the scene, no it wasn’t a nurse! It was one of my relative, who thought it was ok to walk on me while I was trying to breastfeed my baby for the first time. It didn’t end there, I had some other relatives coming over and showing concerns on my breastfeeding skills. I certainly did not appreciate everyone having a full view of my boob when they pleased. I hoped they would respect my privacy, but I’m surely it hardly happens to any 🇳🇵nepali aama.
I would try so hard everyday to breastfeed, but always had someone interrupting and I wasn’t going anywhere with it. I secretly hoped once returning home, it would work out well. But little did I know about what I was about to go through. Apparently my nipple was big for my baby and in the meantime she was already used to the formula milk. Everyday someone from neighbors and family would visit us and throw their concerns at my face. Some concerns were valid while other were mostly humiliating to me. There I was trying my best to breastfeed a baby who didn’t want it at all. She was mostly being fed by her dad and grandmother. She didn’t feel connected to me; I would long to hold her and make things right between us. But she would start crying as soon as I would try to breast feed her. At times, when she would cry hysterically for no reason, people around me would say- breastfeed her and calm her down. But there I would be struggling to hold her, let alone breastfeed. Silly me would cry for hours and stare at my baby and think does she hate 😡 me! Sigh!! 😌
My husband was a rock support throughout. He got me a couple of nipple covers for breastfeeding, hoping it would make our girl to suck the plastic nipple and get used to the process. But, since my baby was hardly nursing, my breast milk supply was rare. She was mostly surviving on formula milk. See I understood the importance of breast milk for baby and I had always thought I would at-least breastfeed for 6 months. She was finally starting to get used to my boobs, but I was hardly producing any milk. Yes, I would constantly compare myself to a cow and even searched their diet online for improved milk supply! SILLY ME!! 🥰 haha
My husband got me a breast pump, so there I was pumping my breast whenever I had a chance and stored it on the bottle. But I wasn’t making enough, see 30 ml from each boob was no good for the baby who needed at least 60 ml per feed in every 2 hours.
I went to parents place after my baby was a month old. Next morning I hear my mom waking me to 🍲 ‘jwano ko jhol’. To me it wasn’t the ordinary jhol, it was mother of all jhols. We had this really big bowl at our place, my mom basically had brought a huge bowl of jwano ko jhol’ that could have easily fed 6 people. Also, my spoon was no normal spoon, it was a ‘dadu’, because If I would have that jhol with a normal spoon. It would take me a half-day to finish that off. But I was determined to increase my breast milk supply and was down to go through anything that came along. The temperature was scorching with heat, and I had that jhol three times a day for the next 3 months.
I would sweat like a pig, but I was happy as my girl over these three months made the transition from formula milk to my breast milk. According my mom, my breast milk supply still wasn’t good. She always made a joke, ‘If I had fed this amount of jwano ko jhol to a buffalo, it would feed a family, but I’m a 🐃 ‘tharo buffalo’ meaning a buffalo that had menopaused 😀
I had come a long way from a cry baby to being able to laugh off such jokes. My girl is 15 months now, and still nurses. She eats normally like any other adults but still prefers to nurse to sleep and in the morning. My baby is healthy, happy and I think I’ll go with the flow. They say, stopping breastfeeding is whole new drama and challenge altogether. May be I’ll share about stopping breastfeeding too when I get to it 🙂
So to all moms who are struggling with breastfeeding, do your best but only do what you can. Breastfeed as much as you can for as long as you can. But if things get a little much for you, don’t ever feel any less about yourself. And don’t forget to treasure every moment of your breastfeeding journey however long or short!
